Since He Really Feels (He Feels) Read online

  Nick woke me in the very best way. I felt his tongue tracing the shell of my ear, and then I felt the rough stubble on his chin as his tongue trailed down from my ear to my neck and down to my chest. He lavished my breasts with attention, sucking softly on one nipple while he rolled my other one between his fingertips. I moaned into his touch, loving the feel of him against me and never wanting it to stop.

  As my eyes fluttered open, the first sight of my day was Nick hovering over me. His hazel eyes glowed in the morning light. Everything about this view was perfection, from those sleepy eyes to his beautifully messy hair to his rough and sexy stubble. Poised over me, I could see the flexed muscles in his perfectly chiseled abdomen, and I traced his muscles with my fingertips, ultimately landing on that ridiculously sexy cut of hipbone that stood out just above the waistline of his shorts. He groaned, and then he pressed his hips down against me and I could feel how ready he was for me. He thrust his hips against me once more, and it was enough to wake the slutty beast inside of me. All I could think about was the fact that there were too many clothes separating our bodies.

  He nuzzled between my breasts, and I arched up into his magical touch. I gazed at him, running my fingers through his hair. I remembered how I’d imagined what that would feel like for a year before we had gotten together, and the silky strands against my fingertips felt even better than I had imagined. I loved him with everything inside of me, and waking up next to him after the honest night we’d shared together only strengthened my love for him, only made me all the more confident that we were destined to end up happily married for the rest of our lives together.

  His mouth found mine, hot and hard, and he continued those magical thrusts that were starting to cause an aching pain south of my belly. I wanted him inside of me, and I wasn’t below begging.

  He kissed his way down my body, from my breasts down my sternum to my belly. His tongue dipped into my belly button, and then he continued his journey southward. His stubble whispered against my skin as he moved, sending desire coursing through my veins. He moved down, lifting my legs up so my feet were flat on the bed and my knees were bent. He pushed my legs apart and crawled between them, and then he kissed the inside of my thigh softly. He pushed one finger inside of me, and then he gazed up at me. I looked down at him through heavily lidded eyes as I moaned at his entry, and then he pulled his finger out. His eyes were locked on mine when his tongue ran the length of the finger that had just been inside of me, and that one erotic moment nearly sent me over the edge.

  My body began to throb with need for him, and just when I was about to beg him to get inside of me, he started kissing his way back up my body. He stopped only long enough to remove his shorts, and then he crawled back up the bed. Usually before he thrust into me, he hovered over me for a moment, but today, he wanted it as much as I did. He plunged powerfully into me, and he felt so good that I literally screamed out in pleasure. I braced myself for the onslaught of his passion, and he delivered mind-blowing thrusts that edged me quickly toward my climax.

  As we basked in the afterglow of yet another incredible orgasm together, I couldn’t help but think that even though I’d never felt closer to Nick after he finally confided in me the night before, we still had a lot of issues to work through and one huge problem that had only one foreseeable solution.

  CHAPTER 28

  NICK MATTHEWS

  I knew sex wasn’t going to solve the issue at hand, but it was definitely going a long way to help me forget my problems. Something about the sweet taste of Julianne Becker just did that to me. But once we crawled out from under the covers and were sitting on the patio enjoying coffee in our luxurious hotel bathrobes, I knew we couldn’t put it off any longer.

  “Have you thought any more about our talk last night?” I hedged cautiously.

  Her beautiful blue eyes met mine. Something about Julianne in the morning was a sight to behold. Her hair was big and messy from sleeping, and her skin was perfect and glowing in the sunlight after our morning activities.

  She took a sip of her coffee before answering. “Yes. It’s all I’ve thought about. Well, apart from all of the naked time.”

  I laughed. She really did manage to break the tension I was feeling without even trying. “And?” I finally asked.

  She shrugged. “And I don’t have any answers. I asked you if I could sleep on it thinking that I would have a clearer mind in the morning. No such luck. Instead I need ibuprofen to battle this Appletini headache I’ve got going.”

  I set my coffee on the patio table and disappeared inside, returning a moment later with four tablets for my fiancée.

  She grinned up at me. “Always thinking,” she said, taking the pills and swallowing them down with a big gulp of orange juice.

  “I didn’t know what condition I’d find you in at Mahogany.” I sat down and took another sip of my coffee.

  She giggled. “My reputation precedes me.”

  “Can we talk about it?” I asked.

  “My reputation?”

  I shot her a look.

  “Sorry,” she said softly.

  “I just don’t know what to do.”

  “Is Travis the only thing stopping you?” she asked.

  I nodded, wincing at his name rolling off of her lips. I think I hid it well, though. “The thought of you and him working together is what’s stopping me. It’s hard to stomach.”

  “You can’t let what happened rule our lives, Nick.”

  I nodded. “I know. I’m trying not to.”

  “I know you are. But you have to think about your long term goals.”

  “My long term goals and my personal life have never intersected like this before.”

  “So we deal with it. We’ll be okay, Nick. We’ve been through a lot, and we’ve made it this far.” Her eyes met mine, and her hand found my arm. Giving my arm a light squeeze, she said, “I wouldn’t have said yes to you if my heart was somewhere else.”

  How was it possible that I was horny again after the night and subsequent morning we’d just had? I couldn’t be sure, but that squeeze on my arm combined with her words did the trick.

  “I love you, Julianne.”

  “I love you, too,” she said. “And I want you to be happy. I want you to be fulfilled and proud of your work and I want to be by your side, both at work and at home. No matter what, Nick. If BKG is going under, we have to make the smartest decision. And maybe that means striking out on our own and taking Jack up on his offer.”

  I gazed at her for a long moment. She was absolutely right, and I knew it. I’d known it inside ever since the moment Jack Miller had propositioned me. I think all along I’d just needed the confirmation from Julianne that this was really going to work. I needed to hear from those gorgeous lips that we were going to be okay regardless of what decision I made. I didn’t like the fact that it involved Travis, but I had to put my personal feelings aside for the future of our careers.

  And now that she’d given me the green light, the anxiety dissipated as I looked toward the future with renewed hope.

  I stood and pulled her up with me. I rested my chin on the top of her head and stared out over the mountains in the distance, filled with satisfaction and feeling like everything was right in my world.

  It was later that week when I met with Jack Miller to give him my final decision.

  “Mr. Matthews, nice to see you again,” he greeted me, and then he motioned for me to sit in the same chair I had sat in the first time I’d been in his office.

  He sat across from me, and he was as poised as the last time while I felt nervous as fuck. I wasn’t sure why I was nervous, exactly; I was, after all, here to tell Jack that I wanted to accept his deal. His offer was more than generous, and after Julianne and I had spoken, I’d finally taken the contract out of the manila folder he’d passed across the desk to me. I had been shocked at his bottom line offer, and I briefly wondered if my decision would’ve been easier had I read that contract first. But, hones
tly, I don’t think it would have mattered. Julianne’s approval and agreement to this new venture came first.

  “Good to see you, too,” I said.

  “So have you come to a decision?”

  I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  “And?”

  “And I wholeheartedly accept your offer.” I passed the envelope containing the signed contract across the desk. I took a deep breath as his hand grabbed one side and I let go.

  His face broke out into a grin. “That’s spectacular news,” he said.

  “Thank you. I’m eager to begin this next phase in my career and I am confident about the direction I plan to take Miller Designs.”

  “I have every confidence in you as well.”

  “Thank you. That means a lot from a respected professional like you.”

  “Do you have a vision yet for the facelift?”

  “I have several ideas,” I said, and I pulled out my portfolio with rough sketches for the rebranding of Miller Designs.

  We worked out a rough schedule, and he was enthusiastic about all of my ideas. He wanted Travis to make the final decision, though, and he informed me that he’d be traveling to San Diego to meet with him, to discuss the future of Miller Designs, and to present the ideas of the rebranding. And at some point, he’d tell him about my new role with Miller Designs as well as how Julianne figured into all of it.

  Our meeting lasted about an hour, and then I had to head back to BKG, where I was scheduled to have a meeting with my boss. I could only imagine what the meeting was regarding, but I knew it wasn’t going to be good news. I no longer cared, though. My future was laid out before me. The perfect woman was going to marry me, I was going to start my own company, and I had everything ahead of me. I couldn’t be more excited about it.

  The only potential obstacle in my way was my eventual new colleague, Travis Miller.

  CHAPTER 29

  TRAVIS MILLER

  I wiped my hands nervously on my jeans, not sure why I was so panicked. I had planned every last detail, and I knew I had a homerun. I knew she was going to say “Yes.” We’d talked about our future. I loved her, and she loved me.

  But it was still some scary shit to ask the girl you loved to move from everything she knew in order to start a life in a different state.

  She’d grown up in California. She had friends and family there. She had set down roots. She had the beach and the bars and her job. She’d be moving to the desert for one thing: Me.

  And I hoped to God that I was enough for her.

  We’d spent the last month together. Things may have started out with a little jealousy and a lot of drama, but we immediately found our place together, and our life was better than ever.

  I knew that Lindsay was my forever.

  And it really wasn’t just the blow jobs or the spectacular sex. I could talk to her about anything. I cared what she did at work each day. The way her gorgeous brown eyes met mine across the dinner table, and the way her tongue darted out to wet her lips, and the way she held my hand in her smaller one. These were all things I loved about her, but in growing together, I’d grown to love her heart and her soul. We had more in common than I’d first realized, and I knew that her dream was to marry me and have three children. It was a dream we shared, and she’d already picked out a boy name and a girl name.

  It was fast, for sure.

  But it was right.

  And our shared birthday – March 12 – seemed like the best day that I could think of to ask her to move with me.

  To be honest, I’d started planning the proposal the moment I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. It was the moment I told her that I loved her. Her eyes met mine in that way only she had, the lust evident as she stared at me. I told her that I more than loved her, and she responded in the same way. And as I held her against my body, I knew that she was the last woman I’d ever say those words to. I’d found the woman I was meant to spend my life with after I’d pined away for another woman for the better part of my life, and everything had fallen into place exactly where it was supposed to.

  I was a grand gestures kind of guy, and so I wanted the proposal to be perfect. And I couldn’t think of a more perfect time to ask her than when we moved to Arizona together. I imagined it a thousand times: We’d buy a house, and when we closed on it, we’d stand in our kitchen later that night, and I’d get down on my knee. We’d obviously fuck on the counter after that, and then we would smile every day, each time we passed the place where I’d gotten down on my knee to ask for her hand in marriage and she said, “Yes.”

  And I’d secretly smile at the thought of the sex we had afterward.

  And hopefully the blow job.

  So I was waiting on my girl at Skips, my favorite bar down the street from the apartment I shared with Dan. Tracy, a girl I had briefly hooked up with and then who had become one of my best friends, was working, but it was a busy Thursday night. I held a table while I waited on Lindsay, scrolling through my Facebook feed to make it appear like I wasn’t a total loser sitting at a table alone. I’d just come across a picture of Julianne Becker and Nick Matthews when Lindsay walked up to the table.

  “Hey, birthday boy,” she said, kissing my cheek before sitting across from me. I quickly turned off my phone and directed my full attention on the beauty across the table.

  “Hi, birthday girl. How was your day?” I asked as she picked up the Miller Light I’d ordered for her and held it in the air. I picked up my own beer and touched it to her glass.

  “Shitty.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  She took a long drink and then wiped some foam off her upper lip, sucking briefly on her fingertips. I fucking loved it when she did shit like that, those little times when she was totally sexy without even trying. I shifted in my seat at my sudden erection.

  “Fucking Darlene,” she said, naming one of the owners of JDH Events and her direct boss.

  “What did Darlene do now?” I asked, genuinely interested. I thought back to the women I had dated in the past. It always felt like they droned on about meaningless shit and I tuned out about thirty seconds into their whining.

  She rolled her eyes, and I took it as a good sign that she was pissed at her boss. That would give me the edge when I asked her to move with me to a new state. On her birthday.

  Fuck.

  What the fuck was I thinking?

  “Just making me the office bitch again.”

  “So are you ready to quit yet?” I asked nervously.

  “Trav, what am I going to do? Just quit and not have a job? I can’t do that, not while I’m still taking classes.”

  “I have a question for you,” I said just as Tracy walked up to our table. Lindsay glanced at me with curiosity, and then she turned her attention to Tracy.

  “Any specials tonight?” Lindsay asked.

  “Fish and chips,” Tracy said.

  Lindsay scrunched her face in disgust. “I’ll take the usual.”

  Tracy looked at me with an eyebrow raised, and I nodded. She winked and walked away. Placing my order was that easy at Skips, and I was going to miss that place almost as much as I was going to miss Tracy.

  “Your question?” Lindsay asked.

  I fidgeted nervously, wiping my sweaty hands on my jeans again. “So I got some news today,” I said. I paused.

  “Trav, spit it out. You’re making me nervous.”

  “My dad is retiring at the end of the year. He wants me to take over Miller Designs.”

  “Oh my God! What a great birthday present!”

  I smiled. Just one look at the delight emanating from her gorgeous eyes helped me to feel better.

  “Yeah,” I said. “It is. But there’s more.”

  She looked at me expectantly.

  “He wants me to run it from the Phoenix headquarters.”

  The light in her eyes disappeared as some other emotion replaced it.

  Fear, maybe.

  “So you’re moving
to Phoenix?” she asked.

  “No, Gorgeous. We are moving to Phoenix.”

  She shook her head. “No. No, Travis. I can’t just pick up my life and move to Phoenix. My job, school, my family… it’s all here.”

  “I realize that, Lindsay. And I’ve got answers for all of that.”

  “You’ve got answers?” she asked, her voice taking on a snide edge.

  “Well, I just mean that I’ve thought it all through. I’ve got solutions for everything.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  What the fuck? She wasn’t even giving me a chance, and this was going much worse than I feared it might.

  Not only that, but I hadn’t even told her how Julianne figured into all of it yet.

  Deep down I had been more concerned about how she was going to react to that news than I had been about the idea of moving with me.

  “Don’t roll your eyes. You haven’t even heard me out yet.”

  “Trav, I don’t need to. We are not moving to Arizona.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I threw out my trump card. The best I could do was hope that she would agree. “I am, Lindsay. I don’t have a choice.”

  She crossed her arms and stared me down.

  She was straight up scary when she looked at me like that. “Then you’re going alone.”

  Fuck.

  “Won’t you even listen to my proposition?”

  She sighed as if it was some big inconvenience. “Fine. Go.”

  “First, school. You’re almost done, and you’re taking online classes. So finish your online classes. You don’t even need to go to campus. You can do that from anywhere.”

  She raised one eyebrow, and I took that as my green light to continue talking.

  “Second, job. You hate your job. Come work for me.”

  She looked at me in shock. “What?”

  “I’ll hire you. I need an event coordinator.”

  “Miller Designs doesn’t already have an event coordinator?”

  “I’ll fire her. I will do anything to get you to come with me.”

  “You can’t just fire someone,” she said, but the anger in her eyes was starting to soften. She always softened when it came to me, and that was one of the many ways that I knew she loved me as much as I loved her.